~~Systematic Desensitization ~~

Yeah for therapy!! This is what my therapist and I are working on. Started back up on Satruday. Apparently I'm a control freak. Who knew that my panic disorder stemmed from me needing to be in control of my environment. So Thursday she said I should walk to my apartment with my puppy. She's only about a block away. Now, all I can think about is walking there and not being able to call Katrina. Lori...(my therapist) told me that I was NOT ALLOWED to call Katrina if I started panicking on the way there. I am to call her. So, now that's all I can think about.

How is this helping my panic? I have no idea....but it's helpful that i'm aware of what I'm feeling right??? Right....sure....


Peace ya'll!

Ever Wonder....?

What your words do? Seriously......think about it....sometimes words hurt more than anything else we can do to somebody. Especially someone we love. Is it because we know them so well? And we know just what to say to make them mad, sad, hurt, confused, annoyed? Why do we lash out when we shouldn't?

I've been thinking about words today. It's amazing sometimes what happens when we say certain things. Like, "I love you." or..."I'm sorry."....or..."I'm an idiot" Words can lift you up or tear you down. I don't think we take words seriously enough. I think we abuse them and take them for granted.

It seems we have an endless supply of words....expressive and emotive..... ie.... SHIT! FUCK! DAMN! Curse words yes, but SOOO expressive.... and can be used in such a variety of ways.

Today my words are wounding and callous. Today I suffer for my lack of thoughtfulness. Words can really fuck up your program sometimes. Sometimes words aren't enough..... sometimes silence is GOLDEN.

Peace Ya'll

Friday....and where is my incentive???

So, I've been playing this game online with my little brother. He's always getting me into new games....(shame on him). I haven't much been keeping track like I had intended. SHOCKER. The plan is to go shopping this weekend for "good stuff" and throw away all the bad stuff in the house. It's just one of those things.

Also, I think we're gonna try looking for a new place to live again. I hate this frickin place. It's making me nuts and probably making us sick. A whole lot to think about. I guess we'll see.

Anyway, I'm ashamed of myself for not being better at this.....but if you fall....you might as well get back up right???

Right.

Peace ya'll!

Monday Monday....la la la la la

Hey Ya'll!!! Long time no talky...... Brain brain go away....
So, if you've never done it, I suggest that for just one day....you write down everything you eat. Don't try and keep track of calories at first....just get an idea of what goes in....ya know? WHooooo!!! I'm gonna try it here....... talk about CRAZY!!! This is what I had this weekend.

UGH!!...

5pieces of fried dough with cinnamon and sugar.
4cheesy garlic biscuits.
chicken, brown rice, and cheesey saucy burrito.
glass of chocolate milk and scoop of peanut butter.
3 HUGE glasses of water.
Bowl of Smart Start cereal.
2 Blueberry Eggo waffles
glass of strawberry milk.
left over chicken cheesy, brown rice burrito....
5 leftover fried dough pieces.
3 Huge glasses of water.

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

What about you guys???? Drop me a note and let me know what you eat in a day??? Or a weekend!! I'm curious what everyone eats.!

PEACE YA'LL!!

MERRY NEW YEAR!!!

Lana sure had fun on Christmas morning. What a great holiday we had. It was good to spend time with our family and friends. We went to our friends Brandon and Micki'e house in WPB for Christmas Eve and Secret Santa gift exchange. What a great idea that was. Me and my secret santa had each others names. And we got each other pretty much the SAME thing! Me and My Santa Shannon! We got to meet Micki's folks who were visiting from Washington. We had heard so much about them! What a great time we had! I'm always amazed at how awesome our friends our. We have this GREAT circle of support for everything.

Then for New years....we went back up to Brandon and Micki's....and WHOOO BOY!! Things were CRAZY!!!! I drank a little..... Trink drank a little Everyone had a great time.....

We laughed and hugged and remembered our friend Stella who passed away in May. We cried, for missing her. What a tremendous blessing she was to our lives... we were all grateful to have known her.


So, this year things are gonna change....you will see a healthier Donna and a healthier Katrina....hopefully this will serve as some sort of accountability for us. It's just about that time....this is NOT a resolution...it's a life CHANGE!!

May you all have a happy, healthy, prosperous NEW YEAR! Love and appreciate the ANGELS in your life!

Peace ya'll!