Things have been going pretty good lately. I gotta say, something is shifting. Me and Trink have been happier, more relaxed about things.
I gotta tell ya, we had ZERO money this weekend, and ZERO food. WE were scraping sme change together to try and get some chicken for the week. On our way to the store, we checked the mail. In the mail, Katrina got a letter letting her know that she would be getting some money. Later that day, while I was walking the dog, I found a 20 dollar bill in the grass.
How COOL is GOD? Seriously? Just when we think that we are forgotten or things just can't get any worse along comes stuff like this. It's soo cool.
I hope everyone is well. Sorry I don't have much more to talk about. I'm loopy.
Peace Ya'll!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Well Gosh...
i have no idea what quiet means. ten minutes seems like a long time when you are a fidget like me. no wiggling. no noise. ten minutes with just me and my thoughts. well let's see what happens huh?
3...2...1...start the timer...
i've been playing this game conquer online. i think i may have a disorder. i LOVE it. yes i do love it...i have no idea why. it's this really just crazy rpg game. i have a couple of characters i created and i run around killing monsters and getting money. i don't really care about what the point of the game is....i really just want to get as much money as i can. my one character is a lvl 49 healer. i have a teammate who lvled me up really quickly....i try to be nice to the newbies like he was nice to me. some ppl get on there and just kill everyone, because it's a pk game...Player Kill. which means basically that anyone can just randomly come up and kill you. i don't like that. i created a character to play with my little nephew Caleb when he plays, named Aunt Saphira. i know he likes dragons.
My best friend called me today.....told me that she wouldn't be able to make our annual trip to the Ren Fest on Mar 4th. I gotta tell ya, it really is freaking me out how much that bothers me. I'm not mad at her or anything, but for the past.....10 yrs I guess, we've been going to this thing. She's never missed it. Not once. Sure she's had to cut it short some times, but never missed it. I'm truly bugged by this. It's nothing she can do anything about, but it bugs me. I'm sad, and quite disappointed.
5 minutes left and I'm using this really pale yellow so that I don't correct anything that I may make a mistake on. I can't see what I'm typing so if there are typos...Oh well! I'm finding that I am happier and more energetic since my Dr. changed my perscritption. Upped my dose of Effexor. Yeah...head drugs....me and my loopy head. I am almost starting to feel normal again. Whatever normal is. More like myself. My 9ld self. that used to go out and have fun and not worry about panic attacks. I miss the old me. I want to get back to the point where I can do things by myself. I walkec with Lana to the appointment with my therapist. I'm gonna try and go by myself this time. Friday is my nbext appt. and I will walk over alone. It's part of the desentizition. Getting used to things that make me uncomfortable and not making such a big deal out of them. r
Fear is like this dense fog in front of you that you can't walk through, and when you try to go around it, it just keep sgetting bigger and bigger until you are paralyzed. I'm learning to walk through the fog and into the sunshine on the other side.... I am tired of being afraid of nothing. I want to liv e my life again.
1 minute and this is what's come out.
Peace Ya'll!! Check back soon!!
3...2...1...start the timer...
i've been playing this game conquer online. i think i may have a disorder. i LOVE it. yes i do love it...i have no idea why. it's this really just crazy rpg game. i have a couple of characters i created and i run around killing monsters and getting money. i don't really care about what the point of the game is....i really just want to get as much money as i can. my one character is a lvl 49 healer. i have a teammate who lvled me up really quickly....i try to be nice to the newbies like he was nice to me. some ppl get on there and just kill everyone, because it's a pk game...Player Kill. which means basically that anyone can just randomly come up and kill you. i don't like that. i created a character to play with my little nephew Caleb when he plays, named Aunt Saphira. i know he likes dragons.
My best friend called me today.....told me that she wouldn't be able to make our annual trip to the Ren Fest on Mar 4th. I gotta tell ya, it really is freaking me out how much that bothers me. I'm not mad at her or anything, but for the past.....10 yrs I guess, we've been going to this thing. She's never missed it. Not once. Sure she's had to cut it short some times, but never missed it. I'm truly bugged by this. It's nothing she can do anything about, but it bugs me. I'm sad, and quite disappointed.
5 minutes left and I'm using this really pale yellow so that I don't correct anything that I may make a mistake on. I can't see what I'm typing so if there are typos...Oh well! I'm finding that I am happier and more energetic since my Dr. changed my perscritption. Upped my dose of Effexor. Yeah...head drugs....me and my loopy head. I am almost starting to feel normal again. Whatever normal is. More like myself. My 9ld self. that used to go out and have fun and not worry about panic attacks. I miss the old me. I want to get back to the point where I can do things by myself. I walkec with Lana to the appointment with my therapist. I'm gonna try and go by myself this time. Friday is my nbext appt. and I will walk over alone. It's part of the desentizition. Getting used to things that make me uncomfortable and not making such a big deal out of them. r
Fear is like this dense fog in front of you that you can't walk through, and when you try to go around it, it just keep sgetting bigger and bigger until you are paralyzed. I'm learning to walk through the fog and into the sunshine on the other side.... I am tired of being afraid of nothing. I want to liv e my life again.
1 minute and this is what's come out.
Peace Ya'll!! Check back soon!!
Friday, February 03, 2006
Desensitizing has begun....
Well, my first session went VERY well. I walked to my therapists office with my puppy and didn't panic, and didn't call anyone. I was so excited. I was so proud of myself. Lori said I did really well and so did Trink. It seems so simple to me. Something I should do easily, but it's not easy for me. I have to remember that. Every step I take little or not, is a step I am taking to get better.
GO ME!!!
Peace ya'll!!!
GO ME!!!
Peace ya'll!!!
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