Day 1....ish.

Back at the beginning. The start. The place. I need to set my own pace. My own goals. Write my own story. Stop letting the fear win and take over. I want to be the girl that used to be the life of the party. The girl who wasn't afraid of going out alone. Or driving alone. I want to become a new version of myself. A stronger, healthier, happier version.

Back to where it all started. I may have to do some digging, but the problems WILL be solved.

Sometimes Life is just...

A big oozing wound of ICK! Yea, we had so much going on this weekend. Taking the cat to get fixed, our friends birthday, drinking, panic attacks, drinking, playing board games, arguing. It's all just a jumble of unexpressed emotions. I struggle everyday with my panic disorder. I try multiple things to move past them, through them, around them. Some work. Some don't. This weekend was a test of my ability to function whilst in the midst of one and alone.

EPIC FAIL. Well, maybe not epic, but yeah I fought so hard and just had to push through and try to keep going. They threaten to just stop me in my tracks and I just am tired of them winning all the time.

Today I did 10 mins of cardio and then took the dogs out for a play and walk. I am glad about that. The natural endorphines I think can only help my situation.

There's that. Possibly more later.